Would You Report Your Own Child to the Sheriff"s Dept.?

[gliddenralston]

I have a nephew that has battered his fiance twice in the last month, most recently he was at his fathers house got angry an started chocking her, his father was there & had to chock him to relinguish his grip. So the next morning sheriff's deputies show up but the sons not there so they search the house.

Now the fathers totally focused on finding out who turned in the son, so I tell the father it could have been her or a family member of her's or even a friend. I also told him had you done what was morally right you would know who turned him in it would have been you. The person that reported him is the only one that did the right thing.

I asked had it been his daughter getting abused if he'd feel the same way about protecting the abuser? no response.

So would you report your own child to law enforcement or protect them to the bitter end?

[smooth]

yes the father should turn him in... Some lines should not be crossed. This kid sounds dangerous.

[birddog]

After I hit him upside the head with a bat? In a heart beat.... He is going to end up killing her.


I pressed charges against my 15 year old for using my credit card without my permission.


Added... I just don't get females that allow this ****e. WHY THEY HELL DOESN'T SHE LEAVE HIM????

[Argentium]

For me, it would depend on the crime/situation. But, in most situations, no I would not.

[Blue]

Wow, such statists here with the addiction to presumptive feminism. As the father I would have been pissed that he dared to violate the peace of my home and kicked his ass out along with his fiance. They probably would not be welcome back. I can understand if she reported him but I certainly wouldn't have. If she doesn't feel the need, why should I? This may be how they have agreed to interact and maybe the only method of interaction that works for them. No one needs to be a white knight here. The fiance should know what she is doing and, if she doesn't, that is her problem and no one else's. As for the moral argument well what has that got to do with the law? Exactly whose morals are you upholding? What makes anyone think the state is the correct agency to deal with this problem, if, indeed, there is a problem. You cannot have diversity if you call the goon squad on someone everytime they interact in a way you find immoral or repugnant. Remember, more folks feel that the members of GIM act/think in immoral ways than find them to be acceptable.

[smooth]

This may be how they have agreed to interact and maybe the only method of interaction that works for them. .

Sorry Blue, but i doubt this Woman agreed to interact this way, or that this type of interaction works for Her. Re-think

[Kingfisher]

In the blink of an eye. I would even make stuff up.

[gliddenralston]

Wow, such statists here with the addiction to presumptive feminism. As the father I would have been pissed that he dared to violate the peace of my home and kicked his ass out along with his fiance. They probably would not be welcome back. I can understand if she reported him but I certainly wouldn't have. If she doesn't feel the need, why should I? This may be how they have agreed to interact and maybe the only method of interaction that works for them. No one needs to be a white knight here. The fiance should know what she is doing and, if she doesn't, that is her problem and no one else's. As for the moral argument well what has that got to do with the law? Exactly whose morals are you upholding? What makes anyone think the state is the correct agency to deal with this problem, if, indeed, there is a problem. You cannot have diversity if you call the goon squad on someone everytime they interact in a way you find immoral or repugnant. Remember, more folks feel that the members of GIM act/think in immoral ways than find them to be acceptable.

I highly doubt you would believe this if it was your daughter abused & terrorised .

[Blue]

Ah yes, the white knights emerge. I will not rethink my position as I have respect for both the individual in general and women in particular. If she wanted him to be reported she is very capable of doing so. The fact that she did not is indictative, albeit not conclusive, of the fact that she is ok with the state of affairs. I would humbly suggest you rethink your position as there are entire subcultures in America dedicated to interacting in the exact same way. Is it your opinion that every member of this subculture should be dismissed? Moreover, Women do not need you to exert their rights for them, they are quite capable of doing so themselves.

As for the 'argument' about "what if it was my daughters". I have taught my daughters to defend themselves and I may well act on her behalf if she so desired. Do not mistake tolerating this diversity as a personal belief in it. Bear in mind though, that this wasn't the question. The question is what if it were my son.

I do wonder if these white knight types would have called the cops if it was the son and his male friend who had this minor dust up. My suspicion is they wouldn't because, in reality, most white knight types don't believe women are capable. They merely use traditional culture as the cloak and excuse for their misogyny.

The simple fact is two folks had a minor altercation, not hospitalization was involved, and it required one other person to break it up. Neither of the direct participants called the cops so why should I. If they consider the matter settled why would I call the cops on my own kid.

I would also be curious in the same vein, if the daughter was the abuser if the cops would have been called? Or is only a bad thing when men assault someone but its ok when women do it?

[curmudgeonista]

I think Blue makes a good point.

For me though, it's a simple as this... take care of your own. And, that applies to both sides of the scuffle. I would not get the cops involved in any but the most extreme circumstances. The fact that they were called in well after the incident occurred is pretty good indication that they did not need to be called at all.

If the girl wants out of the relationship, help her get out. If she doesn't want out, make it clear to the boy that he will find out what it feels like to get smacked around by superior force if he keeps it up (and maybe this time was the time to show him instead of tell him?). Either way, this round ends in a draw.

[gliddenralston]

You self policers don't understand the power of FEAR!

[brosil]

You do realize that there are men and women both that like that sort of thing?

[andial]

I'm pretty much where Blue is on this one. Of course my son would never do anything like this but if he did he would be out of the house for good. And if someone reported him and he was sitting in a jail cell that would be his problem.

[Cigarlover]

If he was doing this to my daughter in front of me primal instincts would kick in and I would defend my daughter. He would be carried out in a stretcher and if the relationship didnt end there he would be informed that if he lays a hand on her again It would be the last time.

If I had a son and he acted like that he would be carried out in a stretcher and informed if he ever hits a woman again I will start inflicting pain on his ass like he has never seen. Cops would be the least of his problems. But no I wouldnt call them anyway. I can deal with things in my own home.

[Blue]

To raise another issue with the white knights is that why no one is concerned at all about the mental health of the boy. If this was indeed a consentual interaction than no harm no foul but if it was not, as they white knights suggest, then the male here may well be mentally disturbed and should be helped. Calling the police does not accomplish this in most cases. Oddly no one here has shown the slightest concern for the well being of the son. Many have threatened him with violence or the filing false police reports to have him locked up. This is, of course, misandric barbarity. He may well have a significant chemical imbalance and so, showing him the effects of overwhelming physical violence is sure to teach him a valuable lesson. Please. As I said, so many statists and white knights. It seems that lynchmob justice and brutality are ok just so long as the victim is male. Maybe we should pause ourselves and our prejudices before forcibly involving ourselves, or the state as personal moral agent, into someone else's business. We just might be making a mistake.

[Goldhedge]

Now the fathers totally focused on finding out who turned in the son,

The leopard doesn't change it's spots...


The problem with the son is the very same problem with the dad. Pop has been making up excuses for son's bad behavior from the beginning.

Son chokes wife so dad chokes son... see, the apple didn't fall far from the tree...

[Malus]

To raise another issue with the white knights is that why no one is concerned at all about the mental health of the boy. If this was indeed a consentual interaction than no harm no foul but if it was not, as they white knights suggest, then the male here may well be mentally disturbed and should be helped. Calling the police does not accomplish this in most cases. Oddly no one here has shown the slightest concern for the well being of the son. Many have threatened him with violence or the filing false police reports to have him locked up. This is, of course, misandric barbarity. He may well have a significant chemical imbalance and so, showing him the effects of overwhelming physical violence is sure to teach him a valuable lesson. Please. As I said, so many statists and white knights. It seems that lynchmob justice and brutality are ok just so long as the victim is male. Maybe we should pause ourselves and our prejudices before forcibly involving ourselves, or the state as personal moral agent, into someone else's business. We just might be making a mistake.

Now you're just adding sh*t to the story that wasn't there before to make some sort of statement. Maybe, he's an pod alien and the nephew doesn't exist anymore for he was replaced months ago. Would you call NASA or animal control? Maybe the alien has an imbalance and needs jello............. bs post blue.

[ErrosionOfAccord]

I assume he is of age and he is hurting someone else then most likely yes. If he wasn't of age and he was causing property damage not violence against another person then I would probably try to work it out with the victim. Incarcerating the idiot mentioned above will not make him better but it may keep him away from the female idiot who is putting up with him.

[Sport]

Chivalry is not dead in my house. I would have addressed the issue with the son personally the first time it happened. The second time, he is on his own. Abuse is abuse and the son learned it somewhere. If the father is upset about who called in his son then he should have stepped up the first time. She needs to re-evaluate what she is marrying.

[Blue]

I'm not making anything up so no calling BS on my thread. The original question is would I call the cops on my son. I am explaining the many possible reasons I wouldn't. What I find distressing is the so many folks want to use the state as proxy agent to violently enforce their alternatingly misandric/misogynisic gender views. Do we believe in liberty and equality here or not? Does it make a difference what color they are or religion? If we are going to get the state involved how about we try to care for the folks and not just engage in revenge until we know all the facts. We may well find that not all is as it seems to be.

As for chivalry, well, if you aren't titled aristocracy then it never applied to your house in the first place. Chivalry is very misunderstood and incompatible legally, morally may be different, with individual liberty. For starters, it would preclude all men being created equal. So please no talk of chilvary where the law is concerned. It has no place.

[Avalon]

no, I would never call the law on an immediate family member, especially my kids... I would address the situation myself no matter how ugly it got. There is only one exception to that rule. If I found out a child or close relative was a mass murder type I might call the law because the families have a right to closure and only law enforcement would have the manpower and resources to do that.

[rodzm]

Depending on the situation at hand. I believe that every occasion has its way to be dealt with,. In the case of abuse towards a person. Hell Yes...he/she will be dealt with properly and that is with a pair of cuffs and some iron bars to surround them with.

There is three sides to every story...his side, her side and the truth. If you see abuse happen first hand such as a man battering a woman the it is one's duty to report it.

[Kingfisher]

I wonder what Joe Paterno would do? (Have done.)

[Malus]

I'm not making anything up so no calling BS on my thread. The original question is would I call the cops on my son. I am explaining the many possible reasons I wouldn't. What I find distressing is the so many folks want to use the state as proxy agent to violently enforce their alternatingly misandric/misogynisic gender views. Do we believe in liberty and equality here or not? Does it make a difference what color they are or religion? If we are going to get the state involved how about we try to care for the folks and not just engage in revenge until we know all the facts. We may well find that not all is as it seems to be.

As for chivalry, well, if you aren't titled aristocracy then it never applied to your house in the first place. Chivalry is very misunderstood and incompatible legally, morally may be different, with individual liberty. For starters, it would preclude all men being created equal. So please no talk of chilvary where the law is concerned. It has no place.

Statements were made on the limited info the OP provided. A lot of the answers would probably be a bit different if we knew the specifics. You changed the story and added to it and then jumped on people because it didn't fall in line with your more involved reasoning of the subject. If it was personal to the individual then they would know all the details and act accordingly whether it be to call the cops or deal with it themselves. It was a general question for general consensus.............. the only real answer from anyone on this board would be, "I have to have "all" the facts first before I pass judgement" as to whether to call the cops or kick the living sh*t outta someone.

[southfork]

I know a guy with three kids, oldest 36 just got life for armed robbery, second is 29 a daugther that was living with him, the third is a son with around 4 pages on the police blotter, a junkie no good, he started beating the sister half to death and she called 911 and he got arrested, the ahole threw the daughter out for call the police on the son. So what was she to do, let this punk beat her to death for drug money, he worked less his life than I have in a month.

[Blue]

Exactly, she called the cops. No one else had to do it for her. That was my point all along. I would not call the cops on my own kid. If the cops needed to be called after the fact then one of the participants will do it. Two truths in this world, can't fix stupid and can't clean trash.

[gonzo]

To raise another issue with the white knights is that why no one is concerned at all about the mental health of the boy. If this was indeed a consentual interaction than no harm no foul but if it was not, as they white knights suggest, then the male here may well be mentally disturbed and should be helped. Calling the police does not accomplish this in most cases. Oddly no one here has shown the slightest concern for the well being of the son. Many have threatened him with violence or the filing false police reports to have him locked up. This is, of course, misandric barbarity. He may well have a significant chemical imbalance and so, showing him the effects of overwhelming physical violence is sure to teach him a valuable lesson. Please. As I said, so many statists and white knights. It seems that lynchmob justice and brutality are ok just so long as the victim is male. Maybe we should pause ourselves and our prejudices before forcibly involving ourselves, or the state as personal moral agent, into someone else's business. We just might be making a mistake.

Agreed, I would never call the cops on one of my children but if one of them did this I would make it very clear that he has a simple choice to get go counseling, see a shrink to see if anything is wrong etc and if he refused to do that he would be out of my house and cut off financially. But no, I wouldnt rat out my own blood for any reason.

[gliddenralston]

I will shed a little more light on this deal, Goldhedge was correct with his theory, the father (my brother in law) was charged with domestic assault 15 yrs ago, an divorced shortly after.

The son is an only child and received anything he ever wanted, with no parental expectations from him.

They had another son, but he was conceived thru an affair the mother had, & disowned by the father after it was discovered at the age of four.

Anyway the first son has had anger problems and liked distroying things thru most of his growing yrs.

He's addicted to video games , and decided to go into gaming in college, but flunked out in the first semester, this is where he met his fiance & gets her pregnant.

So the father decides to reward him for flunking out & getting a girl pregnant, with a 2011 show room mazda g6 with the assumption the son would get a job an make the payments.

Now he complains constantly because the kid can't hold a job over a week, he's been fired four times in the last yr, so the dad has to keep making car & insurance payments.

My wife, his sister talked on the phone today and he said during the choking incident his sons eyes were so cold he looked like he was possessed by the devil. He said he told his son if he didn't let go he was going to die tonight.

The sons last statement after the sheriff left (no charges were filed) " I'm going to find out who called the cops n their going to die"

The father just bought two ak47's with 10,000 rounds registered in the kids name because its illegal for him to have any weapons from his battery conviction.

The father is a doomsday survivalist stockpiling food, generators, 5000 gals propane, weapons ect.

Reading what I wrote its almost hard to believe I live in this world, unfortunately its true.

This is the last I'm going to write about this situation as I could go on forever.

[Malus]

But no, I wouldnt rat out my own blood for any reason.

Hypothetically speaking, say you had a brother (or kid/whatever) and one day they confessed to you that they molested children or killed someone and hid the evidence/whatever serious. What would you do? Is there a line in the sand in your "any reason"? Just asking, its a pretty bold statement you made.

[Blue]

Malus,

That is a much thornier question as it involves children and, by definition, children cannot fully excercise their rights and so need an agent to do it for them in some cases. It also raises the question of which agency. The police are not usually the best agency to deal with things like that. Social services is often much better. Overall point though is that I would prefer both individuals to receive help rather than punishment if at all possible.

[Alric]

Who goes around choking people? Out side wrestling/martial arts and kinky sex, it sounds like attempted murder to me. I would call the police without a second thought.

It isn't a feminist thing either. If I had a daughter and she tried to choke her husband I would call the police on her too. That isn't normal. Little children fight, adults don't fight. I find all violence totally unacceptable except in self defense. Before you resort to violence you need to accept the very real possibility that someone will die. If accidental death of yourself or your opponent isn't an acceptable consequence then you shouldn't be fighting.

[hammerhead]

O.K. Got what the question is. The answer is yes. I would sign a complaint and try to help him and the girl in any way I could. That is not acceptable behavior. But that's the way I raise my children. I want them to know they will be responsible for their actions.

Dealing with violence with violence doesn't work.

That won't happen in this case though. Dumb @ss people. Ofcourse the old man is angry with whoever called. He may be angry that his space was invaded by some outside authority. He doesn't want to deal with it. Frickin kid needs help. As does the fiance. Kid won't get it from his dad. Hopefully the girl does.

It's a good thing you called them.

[tesskansas]

I have been in similar positions before. Sometimes I phoned 911 to report, other times not. It is un-nearving regardless. Looking back long enough, I have not ever regreted calling the law.

My father would have broke my brothers arm. In fact, here are two stories about my brothers:
Brother No 1 hassels new young pregnant wife - mouthy and get her to tears. My mom steps in. She pulls him aside and tells him a thing or two. Then brother keeps wife and new baby away. Mom and husband show up and keep stopping in to make sure all is better. Well, he apparently straightened up for awhile.

Brother No2 gets attacked by his fiance (three attempts to marry her - one before pregnancy, one during, one after). The woman leave finger nail marks all over. There is blood and welts all over his face. All he did was drop off a check (mine) to pay for child support. She was ticked that he had to borrow money - she proceeds to rip check and attack brother in front of me. She pushed him so hard he hit his head. It was very hard to watch. All he could do was try to cover his face and duck. He did not run. He just stood there saying "sorry"... Man, I wish I would have called police. Those were the days before cell phones, and before 911. Long story short, I remember very well growing up. My ather told my bothers more than once, that if they ever hit a woman he would come after them, and it would be the last time. My father's threats and history to keep his word made better men out of them.

Sorry about your situation. Know that you did right! The puck needs a few good men to make a call on him and take him aside. That is how they do it in my family. Seriously. My own father has had such visits from his side when they become concern over his disciple style with us kids and other parenting topics.

Know that you did good. You give me courage!

[Brio]

Cogent stance Blue, making the arguement for personal responsibility.
I don't know if I would or not. I like to think I could deal with it myownsef.