Actually, I already had the shampoo on hand, eight large bottles of TreSemme shampoo that a buddy of mine who works at a wholesaler gave to me--the bottles were damaged and were otherwise going to be thrown out, so he gave them to me. And then a little earlier tonight at Kroger, I remembered that I was out of conditioner, so I went to the aisle and was pleasantly surprised to see that the conditioner I usually use (and the shampoo, too, when I'm out)--V05--was on sale (well, with my Kroger card) for 77 cents a bottle. So I got the last 36 bottles of VO5 conditioner on the shelves. The cashier didn't bat an eye. I know from previous conversations that she sees all kinds of weird things at night, and I'm more than happy to reinforce that sense of weirdness.
As far as shampoo is concerned, it's a running joke between me and one of the late-night cashiers at the CVS near my house that whenever I run out of shampoo, I have to use real poo!