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This Country is Dead

Discussion in 'Topical Discussions (In Depth)' started by bb28, Oct 31, 2013.



  1. bb28

    bb28 Silver Member Silver Miner

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    (Alternatively: My Adventure In Hell)

    With much trepidation, I have decided to write about my current situation here, perhaps as a warning to others and perhaps as a social discussion about the policies currently being implemented, and perhaps just to wrap my head around what is happening.

    Up until a few months ago, I had been living with my girlfriend of eight years. Our relationship had been rocky and was never smooth sailing. For the entire time, I supported her financially and emotionally to the best of my ability. There's a good deal I could get into here about relationship dynamics, psychology, gender roles, and my theories on why this happened, but I'm not going to because at this point it is largely irrelevant.

    One day we got into an argument that resulted in the neighbor calling the police. The next morning, I was showing my girlfriend some aspects about a car repair I had done and discussing what needed to be done on the vehicle. I was on a creeper underneath the vehicle and apparently the cops didn't see me when they arrived. The cops had parked about a half block away from the house and asked my girlfriend to go with them. I waited for a few minutes on the porch and
    intuitively decided to take a walk. Several hours later, I came back and found six different police vehicles surrounding the road to the house. So, once again I left.

    The area where I lived was in a national forest and I was well aware of the trails in the area, so I took a hike and camped rough for a day. The next day I took a bus into the nearest large town and checked into a hotel. I was in contact with my girlfriend by phone and she made it seem like the police overreacted and that it was a big misunderstanding. She visited my hotel room a
    few times and we called a few different attorneys to discuss the situation. Later when I was able to pull up the security cam footage from my home office, I realized the cops had ransacked the house and taken all of the guns and ammunition. I'm not going to post the footage just now, but they looked like imperial storm troopers, with several of them clearing a room with guns drawn.

    The next afternoon I received a knock on the hotel door from the sheriffs. I was booked and put in a very well packed cell with a group of felony offenders. While I was incarcerated, I was handed a paper from an officer with a temporary protective order. Apparently, my girlfriend did not authorize it but it was authorized for her by a judge or court official.

    My bail was set very high. I still can't believe what they thought I was worth. I've never been in legal trouble before, do not do drugs, or have any alcohol problems. Fortunately, my dad bailed me out and I hired an attorney the next day. For this, I am eternally grateful. I would have lost my employment had I not been able to get out. My dad has also been very kind in letting me stay at his house while this thing gets worked out.

    A few weeks later and the temporary restraining order has expired, I initiate contact with the girlfriend again, this time by text message only to determine what bills need to be paid and how I can recover some of my work equipment and clothes. I was able to make it to the house once with an officer to keep the peace. It was basically a snatch and grab operation where I had about 30 minutes to grab whatever I could to fit in the car. During this time, my girlfriend became agitated with both me and the officer and then broke down crying and apologized for the whole mess. The officer then chided my girlfriend for not having filed a permanent restraining order.

    A week later, the sheriff showed up at my dad's house to serve me with papers for a permanent restraining order. In it, my girlfriend claims that I harassed and threatened her after the temporary restraining order expired which is a complete lie. I have had no access to a vehicle. The house is about 75 miles away from where I am staying right now. And, I have documented and photographed my evidence of my only communications with her -- the text messages related to
    paying the bills and collecting my belongings. For a while, I felt pretty confident that I could have the restraining order removed because she perjured her testimony and I could prove I had no other contact with her along with witnesses, evidence, etc. My lawyer later told me to let it go and that the restraining order was unwinnable. Apparently, the proof for a judge to accept a
    restraining order is for the "victim" to make a statement that they "feel" their life may be endangered. The judges don't seem to care if there is false testimony and after doing some research, I have found some articles online from our own justice system stating that about 75% of all restraining orders contain false testimony. In a hearing the judge would give me about three minutes of time to speak and be questioned in order to make a decision.

    The justice system considers this to be an "err on the side of safety" thing as there are cases of people being injured/killed before judges handed these things out so freely, but I would have to question the efficacy of such a system. I would put it in the same picture as gun laws. Laws only apply to people who follow them.

    With that, I have lost my 2nd amendment rights, my 4th amendment rights, and my right to question a person who has made allegations against me. I am no longer able to return to my house, yet I keep paying the rent and the bills. My restraining order is a matter of public record so it may be used against me to deny renting a house/apartment, buying a house, to gain employment, etc. And, even when it expires, it will still be a matter of permanent record which can be
    used to deny me access to anything one might apply for in society.

    After a week, my dad returned to the house with some moving help to collect my personal belongings. A decent number of items I paid for are gone along with my precious metals collection. She took my car as well. I'm not sure I could even file a civil suit against her as the restraining order says I cannot have any contact with her, attempt to find her residence, or even contact through a third party. There's a good chance the statute of limitations will have expired by the
    time the restraining order has expired.

    In a few more weeks, I will appear in criminal court and see what I have been charged with. The DAs office has a policy to always press charges, even though my girlfriend has said she would not press charges. I have been told they will prosecute me with or without her as a witness or cooperating party. Because this is an open case, I'm not going to comment on any specifics except to say that I'm not a wife beater, I didn't hurt her, and I feel my actions would pass a
    reasonable person test -- i.e. what another person would/could do in my situation. Unfortunately for me, the whole case comes down to my word vs. her word.

    In short, this whole thing feels like a Kobayashi Maru (link for those not familiar with it -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobayashi_Maru). After doing a lot of research, the most likely thing that will happen is my attorney plea-bargains for me and I pay some fines, get into a 52-week counseling program, and stay on probation for a while. If this happens, I will permanently lose my 2nd amendment rights.

    The only other option is a jury trial which I can't afford right now, although I may be able to if I can push this thing off several months and save up some money. If I am found guilty, there is a good chance I will end up incarcerated for a few years as I am told judges like to impose harsher sentences on those who fight the system. There are a lot of nuances involved in a jury trial and if she were to take the stand and start crying, there's a good chance I end up in the pen regardless of what really happened.

    To conclude, I am absolutely disgusted with our legal system. Innocent until proven guilty is a myth. The bill of rights is absolutely dead. And, only those with deep pockets have a chance at justice.

    Even if I do get a jury trial and have my name cleared, I still have had many sleepless nights, several bouts of waking up and not being able to stop shaking, PTSD-symptoms, and a countless amount of money down the drain.

    This country is in the toilet.

    As for my girlfriend, I do not intend to ever see or speak to her again. The state will be a much better husband for her than I could ever be. And, she can find another boyfriend to prey upon.

    bb
     
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  2. WhyKnow

    WhyKnow Thnk Tank Gold Chaser

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    Glad you are alive. Thanks for the heads-up. Strange world we live in.
     
  3. Goldfarmer

    Goldfarmer Seeker Seeker

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    I am also glad you alive and were not in any of those rooms when the Imperal StormTroopers came through. Political Correctness and Big Brother have grown into 800lb Gorillas! I knew that before but sorry your live has been dumped upside down out on the curb as another example of it!
     
  4. JustPassinThru

    JustPassinThru Gold Member Gold Chaser

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    One of the first things the Bolsheviks did in consolidating power, is subtly attack the Russian family. Claiming to empower women, what they did was require and encourage changes and behaviors, such as women working in industry, which alienated many man/woman behaviors. Divorce became very easy; a lot of Moslem women found themselves divorced and pressured into prostitution in desperation.

    In order to grow the power of the State, competing institutions have to be destroyed. Including the family. Which is why today it's so easy to jail a man for spousal abuse, and so easy to become a felon for spanking a child.

    There is little you can do, except to recognize (as you do) that this society is no longer yours. Pull back; live alone, know the risks in what used to be normal human interaction And wait; and LET IT CRASH. And as for women: With the cow so expensive to keep, you should consider buying your milk by the glass. If you know what I mean.

    It is what it is. It's not a good place to be or time to be there, but we can only live with the options that are allowed us.
     
  5. Turner-son

    Turner-son Silver Member Silver Miner

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    So, you didn't bother to speak up when the cops showed up and you were underneath the car? You just decided "hey, I'll let my girlfriend wander away with a cop while I'm explaining about this car repair?" The cop didn't hear you jabbering away regarding the repair?

    Something smells.
     
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  6. bb28

    bb28 Silver Member Silver Miner

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    You've obviously not had the experience of living with someone who is not mentially or emotionally stable, with fierce emotions who chooses to live life based on their current emotional state with zero regard for long-term consequences.

    After having numerous experiences of this sort with her in regards to neighbors, friends, department stores, social events, the only thing to do is to walk away and give her a ton of space.

    It's possible the guy did see me and was waiting for backup to deal with me or perhaps he didn't see me. Regardless of whether you believe my story, the more research I have done on the subject indicates my experience is very common for men who are arrested of "domestic violence".

    This book gives a good explanation of these types of things:

    Arrest-Proof Yourself: An Ex-Cop Reveals How Easy It Is for Anyone to Get Arrested, How Even a Single Arrest Could Ruin Your Life, and What to Do If the Police Get in Your Face

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1556526377/ref=oh_details_o07_s02_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

    Fortunately for me I had read it last year, although not taken the legal advice in the book which is to permanently leave.

    bb
     
  7. GOLDZILLA

    GOLDZILLA Harvurd Koleej Jeenyus Midas Member

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    When the world gives you lemons, make lemonade...

    Yes it sucks, as change usually does, but look at it as a gift- if you can.

    1) You got rid of a parasite who didn't deserve you.

    2) You have looked into the eyes of the monster and the veil is off. (you wont be fooled again)

    My advice to you would be to write a book about your experience and profit from it.

    Move to Mexico and live your dream.
     
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  8. Gcubed

    Gcubed Banned

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    Why did you stay with her for so very long?
    Don't answer me or the forum. Answer yourself.
     
  9. bb28

    bb28 Silver Member Silver Miner

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    Thanks. I am a make lemonade-from-lemons type. I am currently working on a few new entrepreneurial concepts and failing that I've always wanted to live in Nepal and my work background appears to be in demand there.

    bb
     
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  10. Gcubed

    Gcubed Banned

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    Will Nepal take you with the record you say you will carry?

    Yes Turner-son, something smells.
     
  11. RichG

    RichG GIM Radio Host Platinum Bling

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    They need 'real' evidence to prosecute... witness, hospital records, priors. If none of the above, then her word against yours is not enough. Stick to your guns.... do not confess anything or even talk to them. They are hoping you take the easy way out and roll over. When push comes to shove the prosuctors will look hard at the case.... if there is truly no evidence, then they will drop the case. If there is 'anything' real to this... then you are SOL. JMHO :smokin:
     
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  12. bb28

    bb28 Silver Member Silver Miner

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    I don't know. Perhaps I will turn into a social pariah, lower than an untouchable and be reduced to crawling to a FEMA camp and begging for admission. Well, at least I don't have any plans to do so, and I may just push my fortune for a jury trial. And, for the record, the rest of my record is squeaky-clean.

    bb
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2013
  13. Silver

    Silver Gold Member Gold Chaser

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    Tough situation and hopefully you can get out of this with your hide intact. It doesn't sound like you have children with her so this will eventually be in the rear view mirror.

    Take care of yourself and sleep when you can, eat healthy, and exercise while you are battling the beast or else you will be in a weakened condition. I would be retaliating and hurling very damaging counter accusations about her at every opportunity. You can't just play defense, you have to have an offense. I learned that in my own domestic legal situation years ago. I dealt with a marriage to foreigner that involved international child abduction, Hague Convention, trial in a foreign country, years of divorce proceedings, and basically hell. I had insomnia and post traumatic stress and it took me awhile to deal with it all.

    P.S. I prevailed in all legal proceedings including the Hague Convention trial.
     
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  14. bb28

    bb28 Silver Member Silver Miner

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    Well, at this point I don't have any charges filed, but my research has shown time and time again that the DAs prosecute 100% of all cases. See http://www.avvo.com/legal-guides/ugc/california-domestic-violence-law

    There are quite a few cases I could cite here that were prosecuted with no evidence. I'm not going to say the $$$ amount it took to bail me out and put a basic attorney retainer in cash on demand, but suffice it to say with all of these demographic surveys about household and individual savings that many people would be forced to take the plea bargain and public defender and the DAs absolutely know this.

    bb
     
  15. RichG

    RichG GIM Radio Host Platinum Bling

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    I'm tell'in ya all.... your TEOTWAWKI is more likely to be handed to you from within... by the very ones you worked to protect. It happened to me.... and a lot more than I can count. You will never see it coming, because you where always scanning the horizon. :smokin:
     
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  16. Silver

    Silver Gold Member Gold Chaser

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    You should be researching your case on your own and feed information to your attorney. Tell him what you want him to do. If they haven't filed charges you can only have your attorney disputing every action by the court that has been done to you so far - filing motions to undue whatever has been done, etc. If they file charges you can find out everything they have on you through discovery and depositions. Get on internet legal sites and tell your story and get advice from others.
     
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  17. Gcubed

    Gcubed Banned

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    You obviously read a lot into my observations. Call me what you wish. I'd rather be a prick than a fool. :s1:
     
  18. RichG

    RichG GIM Radio Host Platinum Bling

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    Again...

    " some DA’s offices refuse to drop domestic violence charges under any circumstances, unless they absolutely cannot prove their case. They will even subpoena the victim and try to compel her to testify against her will. The victim will then need to discuss with an attorney any legal ways to avoid testifying, such as 5[SUP]th[/SUP] Amendment (self-incrimination) issues. When it becomes clear to the District Attorney that the victim does not wish to cooperate, he or she will be more willing to reduce or dismiss the charges."

    If she has to make things up she is lying.... and she will trip-up. Perjury is criminal. She apparently is also a thief. Gather evidence of her character. She is in the spotlight, she is making the accusations and has to prove her/their case. What you are going to find out is that the LAW is buried under piles of sh$t. It is by means of the Sh$t pile that all these third parties make there money .. all the lawyers, all the special offices, the clinics, the special programs. Most sell-out to the sh$t pile before they get to the LAW. Let it get to the LAW, then see where you stand...

    And again... if there is anything to this... start packing. :smokin:
     
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  19. noctis lucis caelum

    noctis lucis caelum Silver Member Silver Miner

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    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 26, 2015
  20. Silver

    Silver Gold Member Gold Chaser

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    You've already been proven the fool on your last character attack on Luckabuck calling him a liar. He proved you the fool.
     
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  21. Ag lining

    Ag lining Gold Member Gold Chaser

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    You have no soul. You are a soul. You have a body.
    You are a MAM. A military aged male. You are public enemy number one. Taking power away from people like you gives power to whomever seeks it.

    Much love brother.
     
  22. Gcubed

    Gcubed Banned

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    Oh please Silver, I really really want you to like me. I'll just be crushed if you don't! :cry_smile:
     
  23. Ag lining

    Ag lining Gold Member Gold Chaser

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    You have no soul. You are a soul. You have a body.
    Yes, check yourself, pls.

    Thanks, silver.
     
  24. Silver

    Silver Gold Member Gold Chaser

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    BB28, You have to have an iron will in these situations and you have to demonstrate it by dealing with every little thing, never letting anything slide without a counter argument in writing. You will be steam rolled unless they perceive you as strong. And I mean that in an inner way, because you also have to by mindful not to look like a brute. You need have at your ready at all times a bullet point by point rebuttal of all accusations and self righteously promote you best attributes (no previous legal issues, make a big deal about your job, education, responsibilities, how you tried to help with her problems and how compassionate you are ,etc). This is war, but you never use words like battle, struggle (except how you struggled to help her), or fight or anything aggressive. You have to come off as sincere, caring, and self righteous, yet humble. But make no mistake, this is war.
     
  25. hammerhead

    hammerhead Not just a screen name Gold Chaser

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    I would ask if you were dealing with my ex, but the kids hadn't mention anything about you. Curious as to why you keep footing the bills.
     
  26. EO 11110

    EO 11110 He Hate Me Mother Lode

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    tied up with a wildcat did ya? makes good memories, but horrible present tense

    keep your head up, it will pass -- more than a few of us have ridden such a roller coaster

    now go find a loyal houndog and leave the wildcats alone :cool:

    and move to a non-alimony state :idea:
     
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  27. Darkside

    Darkside Seeker Seeker

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    For a white male this is the worst country

    Invest in a sex change :afraid:
     
  28. bb28

    bb28 Silver Member Silver Miner

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    Originally, I was working with my lawyer on a strategy to get her out of the house. Our lease was joint and severably liable and I wasn't able to give notice to quit unless she was leaving and removing her possessions. The gas and electric needed to be on because we have just started getting winter temps and if the pipes freeze and the house floods (again), I would be responsible for any damage if the utilities were off. I would be in violation of my lease if I didn't pay the water bills and it wouldn't do anything to turn off the service, since she could just call and have it turned on again with me being responsible to pay. I also did not want to develop another record of not paying rent/utilities. Not too long ago, she left of her own volition and I have just been able to cancel the lease and arrange to turn off the utilities completely once I no longer have any responsibility for the property but in the mean time I'm paying for an empty house.

    bb
     
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  29. chris_is_here

    chris_is_here Gold Member Gold Chaser

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    THANK YOU!
     
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  30. <SLV>

    <SLV> Gold Member Gold Chaser Site Supporter

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    This is more of a cautionary tale regarding the kind of people you have in your life than it is a cautionary tale about a corrupt justice system.
     
  31. JustPassinThru

    JustPassinThru Gold Member Gold Chaser

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    It is both.

    I know of a family...the father, in addition to his regular job, is a minister in a small Southern Baptist church. Well respected. Has three kids; the oldest is being home-schooled. Solid family.

    The toddler got outside in the backyard...and a neighbor's dog had gotten loose. And the dog got hold of the kid...didn't maul it; didn't break skin; but was attacking. On their property.

    They got the kid in and grabbed the dog. And called the law.

    The dog owner got a ticket. The PARENTS...got an investigation from Child Protective Services...not an investigation, really; all three kids were yanked out for "negligence" and put in foster care.

    Took him over a month to get the kids back; and they STILL prosecuted for Child Abuse. Charges were dropped, but only after he was arrested, fingerprinted, bonded out and entered into the "justice" system.

    Things are out of control in a way you cannot imagine until it happens to someone you know.
     
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  32. Rollie Free

    Rollie Free Midas Member Midas Member

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    It should he with caution that you respond to a one sided story but here it goes.

    Interesting the way the tale is told. At first it seems the culprit is a nosy neighbor but the police stop by as they often do to follow up and you 'intuitively take a walk'.....into the woods for a night and then leave the area.???

    Sounds like an innocent way of saying you ran off. Reminds me of those Cops shows where they drive along and see some wife beater wearing low life who is just walking down the street, who then sprints into the alley. They've pretty much incriminated themselves by doing that.

    Running off was a bad move. Why did you choose to do that? You could have offered to diffuse the situation and stayed calm giving the officer your view. Calmly explain any confusion and being cooperative would have probably made this a non-event, instead 'your side of the story' was clearly made by hoofing it. Now your somewhat emotionally stunted girlfriend is left to be the only truth teller.

    I think if you had been responsible and contrasted some hysterical statements made by your common law wife then you would'nt be in this situation.

    But that is just one thing I gleaned. There is more to the story, there always is. 8 years of dynamics and history no message board posters can possibly survey.
     
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  33. JustPassinThru

    JustPassinThru Gold Member Gold Chaser

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    Of course we only get one side.

    And of course, we're only responding to the story AS PRESENTED. Since we'll never meet the OP, false sympathy to a false narrative is meaningless. It's either mostly on the up-and-up, or else it is not.

    There ARE other stories, verified stories, of official abuse. I'm not one to point a finger every time a cop pulls a gun on a perp; I'm a believer in the Thin Blue Line. As it USED to be.

    But there is a lot of misbehavior, and it goes a lot higher than what's in the squad cars. Prosecutors and those above them, are as dishonest as any other liberal social-engineering politician.
     
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  34. brosil

    brosil Gold Member Gold Chaser Site Supporter

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    Not sure about our present sheriff but our previous sheriff had a policy of arresting Both parties in a domestic disturbance call. No presumption of innocence for the girl, they both stood before the judge to explain. Use of domestic violence for divorce proceedings dropped like a rock and so did domestic violence calls.
     
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  35. Turner-son

    Turner-son Silver Member Silver Miner

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    You are correct, I have not.

    However, you didn't walk away, did you? You stayed under the car until the cop left with her. Then you left. Why didn't you speak up? Why hide? Why leave the house when she was already gone?

    You didn't answer any of my questions; instead you prevaricated. I stand by my statement. Something smells.
     
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  36. Usury

    Usury Platinum Bling Platinum Bling

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    Don't know all the facts in this particular case, but I can gleam two indisputable lessons here:

    1) Don't shack up with a woman.
    2) Don't keep all of your valuables at home (especially if you're not living alone).
     
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  37. Rollie Free

    Rollie Free Midas Member Midas Member

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    Thank you for that first one. In this day its probably considered odd to say that. Yet, it rarely, if ever, turns out well.
     
  38. bb28

    bb28 Silver Member Silver Miner

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    The reason I wrote this thread was to make you think ... kind of like when you're driving on the freeway and see a car upside down on the opposite side.

    I wrote it in the first-person tense without an agenda because I don't have a political agenda here. I met a homeless guy in Louisiana several years back who had a similar story and gave him some money. I don't think I will forget his story because the law enforcement response seemed so out-of-touch. And, regardless of whether you believe me, this is a very typical "cookie cutter" story -- guy and girl get in argument, guy gets arrested and prosecuted, and you have a he said/she said situation with the full force of the law being held over the guy. If there's a house and kids, the woman walks away with all the booty while the man is often left homeless, looses his job in the process, and has to deal with a social stigma often without legal recourse.

    That's all I'm bringing up here. You guys can't ascertain my innocence or guilt, and I'm not expecting to score any sympathy points with anyone. I don't really care what you think personally. You're not the DA, the judge, or the jury so it doesn't affect me one way or the other.

    There are definitely political elements here, but I'm not an expert on any of these. I certainly have my own opinions, but I'm writing this to avoid any of that because this is not about making my own political point.

    bb
     
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  39. bb28

    bb28 Silver Member Silver Miner

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    That's really the kicker and it seems to be completely at odds with having a healthy, stable, long-term relationship. You can't be entirely committed to someone while simultaneously trying to protect yourself from being stabbed in the back. If you focus on protecting yourself too much, you end up sabotaging the relationship but at the same time many people are f*cked up and elements within the system tend to support and enable this type of behavior.

    bb
     
  40. illatease

    illatease Banned

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    I stopped reading after you said you had been with your girl for eight years, though the relationship was rocky and unstable. Did she rip your testicles off? If you're incapable of leaving a bad relationship, for whatever reason, then you kinda gotta what was coming to yass....
     

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