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DeBlasio At It Again! Lays Minefield To Deter Swimmers

Alton

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#1
Mayor De Blasio lays naval minefield to deter NYC swimmers




The Babylon Bee
Mon, 18 May 2020 15:36 UTC






© The Babylon Bee
De Blasio keeps his citizens safe from fresh air and exercise
Mayor Bill De Blasio had a stern warning for beachgoers in the city of New York today: "You will literally get blown up."

The mayor proudly announced that he had the NYPD install a state-of-the-art naval minefield surrounding the city, so that anyone who swims in the water will get flung sky-high.

"To make sure as many people stay alive as possible, we're going to explode you for going out in the water," De Blasio said as he unveiled the official New York minefield. "You go out in the water? Boom! You step on the beach? Yep, more mines. Boom! And if the mines don't get you, the heavy machine guns will."

As he spoke, a hapless swimmer accidentally triggered one of the mines and careened hundreds of feet into the air in hundreds of pieces.

De Blasio has paired the minefield with "impenetrable defenses" on the city's beaches, including pillboxes, hedgehogs, and heavy artillery covering every square inch of New York coastline.

"This 'Atlantic Wall' will keep New Yorkers safe for years to come," he said.
 

TAEZZAR

LADY JUSTICE ISNT BLIND, SHES JUST AFRAID TO WATCH
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#2
It's the Babble-on (you silly shit) Bee !! :blond::blond::blond::blew up::blew up::blew up::spaceship::rotf::rotf::rotf:
 

Voodoo

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Shit he's crazy enough that I actually believed that was possible for a sentence.
 

Fatrat

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I was willing to bet he had cow manure spread on the beaches....when a politician says "No fun allowed", they mean it.
 

GOLDBRIX

God,Donald Trump,most in GIM2 I Trust. OTHERS-meh
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#6
First blush I thought someone is dramatizing Safety Buoys people can put in their untended swimming pools. A splash or someone falls in the buoy sounds an alarm until turned off.
THEN I saw Babylon Bee.
 

chris_is_here

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....and a feint ray of light from a single photon burst just went off in Gretchen Dim-Whit's Pea-Sized Brain...."yes, an Atlantic Wall, that will teach those Racist, Domestic terrorist, Nazi Republican Protesters......... and, to stamp out White Privvy, we'll give exemptions to the Muslims and the Poor Opprssed African-Americans, they may swim at their leisure, we'll give them all maps so thay can safely navigate the mines".