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I used some totally free money

Unca Walt

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#1
Money that I could never spend. I hadda die to get it.

Well, folks... I discovered that I had taken out some kind of annuity many years ago.

That's a deal that you are betting you are gonna die, and they are betting you're gonna live.

So I called up the annuity folks and told them to take out some of that fiat "money" and send it to my bank.

They did.

So the Beautiful Scottish Witch and Himself hopped in our 2005 Camry and drove it over to a Toyota place. Our car still ran well, but 200,000 miles and shit was gonna go down soon. Brakes signal-squeaking too.

We got one helluva deal on a brand-new Camry with every bell and whistle on it. It was on the showroom floor... and it is now in the garage.

Cars have changed to crazy-level since 2005. This new one can somehow see the white line on the side of the road... and the dotted line in the middle. A "beep" sounds if you veer out of the lane! <-- TINS

You can turn on a "smart" cruise control (this is just plain scary!) and it will drive down the fargin highway at your set speed, and if you take your hands off the wheel, the fargin car will drive down the fargin highway, staying in the lane. IT WILL STEER ITSELF.

You can, of course, override these things, but... WOW.

If you are about to hit something, the car will brake and stop before collision. Again, TINS.

We counted 18 buttons on the steering wheel alone. Dunno what they do yet.


The phone can be plugged in to a USB for charging, and also when plugged in it becomes part of the car's computer. Turns on the TV screen and you can talk to folks without holding the phone.

All kindsa total departures from what I used to know about cars:

You change the oil ONCE a year.

Everything on the car is covered under warranty for seven fargin years. From any engine, drive train, any-yada thing that busts. Even fuses and light bulbs.
If I DENT the car in the next two years, they will take the dent out. Freebies. :beer::drive by:

Any time I want a car wash -- forever -- I just go to the dealership. On the house.

These people were eatin' bugs, and cut me a deal $6K cheaper than I had studied up on using Car & Driver and Consumer Reports. When I told them I was paying cash, the salesman had an orgasm.

My 2005 never left the lot. Now I have to find out what the hell is the purpose of my every-whicha-way shift handle works. It goes SIDEWAYS -- apparently to some other transmission. ??
 

<SLV>

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#2
Congrats! Driving a new car makes you feel like a million bucks. :)
 

the_shootist

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Money that I could never spend. I hadda die to get it.

Well, folks... I discovered that I had taken out some kind of annuity many years ago.

That's a deal that you are betting you are gonna die, and they are betting you're gonna live.

So I called up the annuity folks and told them to take out some of that fiat "money" and send it to my bank.

They did.

So the Beautiful Scottish Witch and Himself hopped in our 2005 Camry and drove it over to a Toyota place. Our car still ran well, but 200,000 miles and shit was gonna go down soon. Brakes signal-squeaking too.

We got one helluva deal on a brand-new Camry with every bell and whistle on it. It was on the showroom floor... and it is now in the garage.

Cars have changed to crazy-level since 2005. This new one can somehow see the white line on the side of the road... and the dotted line in the middle. A "beep" sounds if you veer out of the lane! <-- TINS

You can turn on a "smart" cruise control (this is just plain scary!) and it will drive down the fargin highway at your set speed, and if you take your hands off the wheel, the fargin car will drive down the fargin highway, staying in the lane. IT WILL STEER ITSELF.

You can, of course, override these things, but... WOW.

If you are about to hit something, the car will brake and stop before collision. Again, TINS.

We counted 18 buttons on the steering wheel alone. Dunno what they do yet.


The phone can be plugged in to a USB for charging, and also when plugged in it becomes part of the car's computer. Turns on the TV screen and you can talk to folks without holding the phone.

All kindsa total departures from what I used to know about cars:

You change the oil ONCE a year.

Everything on the car is covered under warranty for seven fargin years. From any engine, drive train, any-yada thing that busts. Even fuses and light bulbs.
If I DENT the car in the next two years, they will take the dent out. Freebies. :beer::drive by:

Any time I want a car wash -- forever -- I just go to the dealership. On the house.

These people were eatin' bugs, and cut me a deal $6K cheaper than I had studied up on using Car & Driver and Consumer Reports. When I told them I was paying cash, the salesman had an orgasm.

My 2005 never left the lot. Now I have to find out what the hell is the purpose of my every-whicha-way shift handle works. It goes SIDEWAYS -- apparently to some other transmission. ??
Congrats on the new wheels, that must have been one hell of an annuity. Congratulations also for outliving the annuity!
 

MrLucky

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#5

Casey Jones

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Well...congratulations. I actually remember when you bought that car you had - I had bought one about the same time, and we swapped some observations over at a now long-dead forum.

Yeah, cars have changed a lot since. Even the cheap ones. I had a cheap Kia, last two years...and living in this mountain community, and not driving much, being retarded...I found what I was mostly doing with that new car, was figuring out where to park it, safe from the sun, safe from other residents with their huge, hulking Bro-Dozers.

I gave it up and sold it last week. That was my free money. Now I just have a beater van I can use as a camper.

To the high-tech: It's wonderful, as engineering experiments. But I distrust equipment when Man's mind (or some mens' minds) get away from Man's ability to understand. That is, the Morlocks' engineering semi-self-driving cars, for slack-jawed half-wit government employees...of the kind who actually think Teslas are self-driving and magic.

The other part, is the PRICE on those things. Man's ability to demand money from his fellow-man, now exceeds his fellow-man's ability to pay it. EVEN with loans. Even with liar-loans at Zero Percent.

Oh, it won't effect me, at this point. I looked at the situation...the economy, my living situation...and decided it was FAR more cost-effective, any time I needed a new, good car...to simply rent it when I do. Even if it's for a month or more, it'll outweigh the cost of the monthly loan payment, even when the loan payment is low. Better utilization of resources.

But, anyway, finding free money is good. And as good, that you got rid of that funny-money while Toyota still takes it.
 

engineear

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#7
Self driving?...like a Tesla! ACC=Adaptive Cruise Control...set your speed and when you come up on a slower car, your car slows to match the speed, pull over to pass and your car goes back to the set speed.

Arnold Palmer with Johnny Carson telling him about his new Cadillac. He had some tees on the dash when pulling into a gas station. The attendant recognized him and asked Arnie about the car. He explained all the new gadgetry and the gas jockey asks "what are those things on the dash board?"
Arnie replies "I put my balls on those when I drive". The attendant exclaims "This Cadillac has EVERYTHING!"
 

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Didn't Johnny Carson interview Arnie's wife on tv? I believe the story goes, Johnny asked "do you do anything for your husband for good luck the night before he has a tournament?" (anyone care to fill in the reply?)
 

Unca Walt

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#9
I can pull a few more $K outa that annuity to get some junk silver. Herself put her dainty foot down:

"It is a big, long procedure -- remember? Notarized signatures, registered mail, takes weeks..."

So then I musta looked pouty, and she came up with another solution:

"We have $8K left over from what we already took out for the car. And that's due to how hard you bargained with them... so take that money to buy silver."

Clever girl. :blond::beer:
 

Voodoo

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I'm weird, it bugs the crap outta me to drive a new car. Especially with all the cameras and GPS now. Though my 06 Avalon is starting to crap the bed. Like $3k worth of work this month. I just don't want to worry about the dents and dings and crap. I can handle things that break as long as I have a good mechanic around.
 

Irons

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#11
Money that I could never spend. I hadda die to get it.

Well, folks... I discovered that I had taken out some kind of annuity many years ago.

That's a deal that you are betting you are gonna die, and they are betting you're gonna live.

So I called up the annuity folks and told them to take out some of that fiat "money" and send it to my bank.

They did.

So the Beautiful Scottish Witch and Himself hopped in our 2005 Camry and drove it over to a Toyota place. Our car still ran well, but 200,000 miles and shit was gonna go down soon. Brakes signal-squeaking too.

We got one helluva deal on a brand-new Camry with every bell and whistle on it. It was on the showroom floor... and it is now in the garage.

Cars have changed to crazy-level since 2005. This new one can somehow see the white line on the side of the road... and the dotted line in the middle. A "beep" sounds if you veer out of the lane! <-- TINS

You can turn on a "smart" cruise control (this is just plain scary!) and it will drive down the fargin highway at your set speed, and if you take your hands off the wheel, the fargin car will drive down the fargin highway, staying in the lane. IT WILL STEER ITSELF.

You can, of course, override these things, but... WOW.

If you are about to hit something, the car will brake and stop before collision. Again, TINS.

We counted 18 buttons on the steering wheel alone. Dunno what they do yet.


The phone can be plugged in to a USB for charging, and also when plugged in it becomes part of the car's computer. Turns on the TV screen and you can talk to folks without holding the phone.

All kindsa total departures from what I used to know about cars:

You change the oil ONCE a year.

Everything on the car is covered under warranty for seven fargin years. From any engine, drive train, any-yada thing that busts. Even fuses and light bulbs.
If I DENT the car in the next two years, they will take the dent out. Freebies. :beer::drive by:

Any time I want a car wash -- forever -- I just go to the dealership. On the house.

These people were eatin' bugs, and cut me a deal $6K cheaper than I had studied up on using Car & Driver and Consumer Reports. When I told them I was paying cash, the salesman had an orgasm.

My 2005 never left the lot. Now I have to find out what the hell is the purpose of my every-whicha-way shift handle works. It goes SIDEWAYS -- apparently to some other transmission. ??
Congrats! Change your fancy new synthetic oil and filter every 6k miles no matter what they tell you. Oil is so thin now and tolerances so tight it takes next to nothing to cause wear.

.
.
 

Casey Jones

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#12
I'm weird, it bugs the crap outta me to drive a new car. Especially with all the cameras and GPS now. Though my 06 Avalon is starting to crap the bed. Like $3k worth of work this month. I just don't want to worry about the dents and dings and crap. I can handle things that break as long as I have a good mechanic around.
That's ANUTTER savings to not owning a car.

Maintenance. Which USED to be a small thing, especially on a new car. Now...everything is SO damn complex..."Smart" airbags, cameras, canbus systems so NOTHING can be unplugged or modified. I wanted to be able to turn on the rear camera alongside the auto-on switch when I had the gearshift in R. NO CAN DO. Can't-never-won't. Goes through **THE CANBUS** and you can't touch it. I guess it's like the Stairway to Heaven.

Likewise, the wireless-unlocking key fob. I lost one - in the parking lot. It was found - by a thief who opened up the car and looted it. I lost my GPS and some tools.

That was the least of it - now, with that stolen fob out, I couldn't lock the car without changing ALL the locks, and re-coding the receivers. Cost, about $700, and not paid for by insurance. I asked about just de-activating the wireless entry...NO! Goes through **THE CANBUS**! YOU CAN NOT TOUCH IT.

I found a work-around even the dealer didn't know, but it wasn't totally acceptable. **THE CANBUS** deactivated wireless entry when a key was in the ignition. So I found i had to lock up the car - with a key - with another key in the ignition, and hidden by my hanging a hat on the dash and steering column.

I couldn't wait for the day some weather-sealing boot leaks, and road-salt-spray gets into **THE CANBUS*** and creates **RUST**.


No, I really am better off without that car. We're entering a new phase of society, where former-middle-class people cannot afford to own even economy cars...which are not REALLY economy cars, not anymore...
 

MrLucky

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#13
Didn't Johnny Carson interview Arnie's wife on tv? I believe the story goes, Johnny asked "do you do anything for your husband for good luck the night before he has a tournament?" (anyone care to fill in the reply?)
Wow, no takers. The reply was "I lick his balls".

Oops, made a mistake. It's "I kiss his balls". mea culpa.
 
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gliddenralston

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#14
Congrats,
I'm still trying to figure out all the quirks my 2000 Plymouth throws at me. New cars are like phones, you'll never know what all they can do!
 

the_shootist

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Congrats,
I'm still trying to figure out all the quirks my 2000 Plymouth throws at me. New cars are like phones, you'll never know what all they can do!
I use a hand held computer with a logo of a used apple on it as a telephone and communication device. I use a laptop computer in my office for everything else.
 

ttazzman

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#16
congrats on the new car.......its almost up to high end tractor and bulldozer technology :) .....my son just got him a new Tesla with the self driving tech will be a intresting vehicle
 

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#17
Didn't Johnny Carson interview Arnie's wife on tv? I believe the story goes, Johnny asked "do you do anything for your husband for good luck the night before he has a tournament?" (anyone care to fill in the reply?)
Wow, no takers. The reply was "I lick his balls".

Oops, made a mistake. It's "I kiss his balls". mea culpa.
To which Johnny replied "I bet that makes his putter stand up!"

Big laughs LOL and Mrs. Palmer walked off and sued him for it.
 

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#18
Congrats on the new wheels. What was the trade in? How much was the new car?
 

MrLucky

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#19
^ the car was free. (sorry, couldn't resist.)

Title "I used some totally free money"
 

engineear

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#20
Iirc...i bet that makes his putter stiff....iirc she kissed them

She couldn't take a joke that was the perfect set up...what was Johnny supposed to say..."wow, that's disgusting".or.."is he awake at the time"...or "the right one 1st?"...
 

TomD

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#21
I've got a (close to) new one too, a Honda. The self driving comes in handy if I need to answer a business related text or email, I activate the self driving stuff (two buttons on the wheel) and am quite comfortable taking my attention off the road for 5-10 seconds at a time. I've tested it by putting it in "lane assist" and adaptive cruise and letting it go but with my attention full on and found that on a mostly straight road, it will go for quite a while with no attention. The adaptive cruse seems to be 100% reliable. It really takes a bit of nerve at first to just let it go, but in varying city traffic it will really keep a set interval with a max speed of whatever you set and bring you to a full stop whenever necessary all the time maintaining an appropriate distance. You can tell it how far to follow but if you tell it to follow the next car by 70 feet but it knows to shorten that as speeds reduce. When it stops at a light, it will be 10'-15' behind no matter your follow setting. If you're in the twisties, lane assist isn't as good. It will shake the wheel if you drift over the line but the ability to self steer through a bunch of rapid corners isn't there. Gentle curves it will.

It's handy now but will be transformational in 10 years.

As far as the car as a whole, it's so far superior to anything I've had before as to be in a different galaxy. Mine 2.0 turbo motor would have scorched my1964 GTO, got over 40 MPG of regular on a recent road trip and would far outhandle the 1976 Fiat 124 Spyder that I once had. There is so much about this 2020 world that I hate but this is the golden age of cars and beer.
 

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#23
Self driving cars will detect whether or not you have been vaccinated and if not will drive you straight to the nearest FEMA camp.

SC
Well, maybe not that exactly but it's certain that there will be unintended consequences, mostly because government is involved.
 

DodgebyDave

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#24
A toyota.......no wonder the pea fowl shit in your garage!
 

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Bigjon

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#27
I have a Honda with all that stuff on it.
The damn car is smarter than I am. When I hop out and go to open the rear door it says no, you left the engine on, so I have to go back and use the button on the drivers door to open the rear door or turn the car off is another option to get into the damn thing.
Get out of the car and close the door then go to open the drivers side passenger door and it says no.

Well my final impression is Honda can take all their goddamn safety features and put them where the sun don''t shine.
 

Unca Walt

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#29
(*snork*)

We just discovered another little (about 4"x2") color tv screen that comes on when a door is opened. A little fargin movie of an opening (or closing) door plays right above the steering column showing which door.
 

the_shootist

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#31
(*snork*)

We just discovered another little (about 4"x2") color tv screen that comes on when a door is opened. A little fargin movie of an opening (or closing) door plays right above the steering column showing which door.
I'm not sure how we've gone without that feature all these years!
 

Unca Walt

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#32
Hope the seats don't have sensors that detects dingle berries. It would pop up a picture on that screen of the remnants.
OH!!!!

I think you hit the gong on that one -- There was a red light on the dashboard, blinking. Herself was alone, sitting in the car in the garage. The light said, "Passenger". She could not get the light to go out/stop blinking.

It took 20 fargin minutes for me to break the code:

There was a ball-point PEN on the passenger seat that she had laid there. The fargin seat-sensor is so sensitive, the weight of the fargin PEN closed the circuit that indicates the passenger does not have his seat belt connected!!

TINS
 

Casey Jones

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#34
OH!!!!

I think you hit the gong on that one -- There was a red light on the dashboard, blinking. Herself was alone, sitting in the car in the garage. The light said, "Passenger". She could not get the light to go out/stop blinking.

It took 20 fargin minutes for me to break the code:

There was a ball-point PEN on the passenger seat that she had laid there. The fargin seat-sensor is so sensitive, the weight of the fargin PEN closed the circuit that indicates the passenger does not have his seat belt connected!!

TINS
Overly sensitive. Or, maybe, a quiet change in rules/regulations...the DOT/NHTSA/CPSC.

My experience with those sensors is, about twenty pounds. You could put a light grocery sack on the seat and it would be fine. At least until the first pothole.

But it's getting ridiculously complicated. Remember when cars didn't have those blow-up bags, ready to belt you in the face if something happens? There was just the three-point harness. Those who chose not to avail themselves...well, you take the risk, you accept the consequences. I have always been a believer in belts.

Not these Smokey-Stover balloons, which have probably killed almost as many persons as they've saved.

And each year more complicated. Example: Seven years ago, I had - in the Wisconsin salt belt - a winter beater. A Toyota Tercel. Now, being single, and formerly active...I needed space. I need a truck, basically; but trucks, like Harley-Davidson motorcycles, have been priced out of their alleged target market. The number of elderly, feeble, retired men I see in hyperexpensive Bro-Dozers (often with handicapped plates) is head-scratching.

For $2000 I had this 1996 Tercel. Not rusty! Just faded. Reliable as a brick. BUT, to use it as I needed it, I pulled the front passenger seat out.

Ten minutes' work. Four bolts and out. ALL that SPACE it opened up...almost like having a van.

You can NOT do that, now. You unplug the right seat sensor, and you get ALL KINDS of ERROR codes sent to **THE CANBUS**.

Oh, and the expensive blow-up pillows won't work. Not for the empty right-side space, and not for the driver. Nor will the computer-controlled locks on the seat-belt retractors work - they, too, depend on sensory input, and a microprocessor. And **THE CANBUS** will punish you for disconnecting an airbag, by not letting the other safety equipment work, either. Take THAT, Deplorable!
 

Unca Walt

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#36
Actually... I'm not the one who gives a shit.

I just think these new toys are really kinda fun. Look at it from about 80 years perspective... Horses delivered milk. My father's Ford car was started with a crank, and the seats were stuffed with Spanish moss.

In the period following the war, cars became sort of easier starting, easier stopping than Dad's Ford had been -- but not really any basic difference from the Model T concept. You steered, you backed up, you drove.

If it broke, you "wrenched".

And to my astonishment, in just the period of time since I purchased my last Camry LE, cars have undergone a true quantum leap.

Just thought of a spot-on analogy:

Awright, I am an IFR pilot for single engine, Land. So I can fly a Spam Can. Or a Piper Warrior. (Ford/Chevy)

This new Camry LE is not an upgraded Cessna 152.

It is a Martin-Lockheed F-35 Lightning II. <-- A fair comparison.

This happened since my last new car of the same name. Sorta like my new model Cessna 152 now is supersonic, stealthy, automated-out-the-wazoo, far better mileage, better ride, and 5-star rating in all that safety stuff.

It is super kewl for an old guy who, as a kid, cluck-clucked horses to be driving an F-35 Lightning II -- especially if it is paid for.
 

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#37
All true.

I remember, though...not as an owner, but as someone who read up on this stuff. Fifteen years ago, BMW and Daimler-Benz was getting into this Gee-Whiz stuff. VW was starting to push some high-tech features.

Worked great - when new. BMW got their halo burnished. VW became the Rich People's Car Works.

And it all came crashing down. That European miracle stuff didn't hold up so well - and when it broke, it cost mucho dinero to repair.

Which is why, today, you find German luxo-barges with beautiful bodies, in wrecking yards. Electro-repairs cost more to do than the car is worth. The car is worth little because used dealers, and buyers, have learned that used models are TROUBLE.

Now that the Wow-Stuff is getting on Japanese cars...it's testament to how they're (probably) a little better sorted-out. Toyotas tend to be bland and boring - and reliable as the seasons.
 

the_shootist

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#38
Can I post that I used totally worthless fiat to buy gold in this thread or would that be considered rude and off topic? :gold:
 

Unca Walt

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#39
All true.

I remember, though...not as an owner, but as someone who read up on this stuff. Fifteen years ago, BMW and Daimler-Benz was getting into this Gee-Whiz stuff. VW was starting to push some high-tech features.

Worked great - when new. BMW got their halo burnished. VW became the Rich People's Car Works.

And it all came crashing down. That European miracle stuff didn't hold up so well - and when it broke, it cost mucho dinero to repair.

Which is why, today, you find German luxo-barges with beautiful bodies, in wrecking yards. Electro-repairs cost more to do than the car is worth. The car is worth little because used dealers, and buyers, have learned that used models are TROUBLE.

Now that the Wow-Stuff is getting on Japanese cars...it's testament to how they're (probably) a little better sorted-out. Toyotas tend to be bland and boring - and reliable as the seasons.
Well, this one is styled sorta like an F-35. And I do not have to give a toss ever if something on the car takes a piss. For the next seven years, if any part of the car has a problem, repair is free. And for two years, even if I am the one that dinged it, if the ding is under five inches across... they'll fix it. Free.